It is Monday night, 3.00 am and I can not sleep. I have just finished listening to the first podcast recording I’ve made. It’s for a guy from a recruitment company we use at work. He hosts a podcast called Talking to Tech Leaders. Not really sure I qualify. I found it really stressful to make the podcast. I was surprisingly nervous, and I found it really stressful to listen to it. I spent the whole time looking for a trip-up and if I said something stupid. Thankfully, I think I pulled it off. ...

I woke up this morning terrified that I may revert to my old self. I was filled with despair: questioning why I should continue to exist when all I wanted to do was drink myself into oblivion. Nothing had changed - I am close to 6 months sober, signed off work due to stress: in recovery. What brought about this fear? I think it was due to my medications running out and my decision to go it alone—without any pharmacological support. I had a prescription being prepared, but I thought I would jus...